A Better Healing Process

Breakups, getting fired, financial worries, legal troubles … the possibilities of what can go wrong and interrupt our peace and joy are endless.

However, it happens to everyone, so finding tools to deal with these unavoidable obstacles is essential. Of course the complexity of the situation differs with the gravity of the facts and the perception we have of them, but no matter how unbearable things may seem, we should not let our frustration and despair prevent us from doing all we can to get through these problematic times and come out better on the other side.

The principle of division is one of these mechanisms that can enable us to get through difficult times, due to its objective and concrete basis. Basically, it’s up to us to honestly evaluate the situation and to “block off” the areas of our life actually affected by our passing troubles. Going through difficult times does not mean that our entire lives and personality must be ravaged.

Even though falling into a depression after a rough breakup is understandable, it doesn’t mean it should be left unquestioned. Why let this aspect of our lives creep into the others, allowing for total destruction?

This emotional state can affect our professional performance and limit our motivation to grow and flourish as individuals, even though the original reason for the distress actually has no relation to these other domains of our lives.  Self-questioning is very simple, and allows us to realize that we often tend to label ourselves as victims, and want to wallow in our sorrows, enjoying the sense of legitimacy we gain from the empathy we manage to provoke.

What’s important to remember is that the people on the other side, the ones providing us with the empathy, may not always be able to support us. It’s not that they aren’t true friends, but nobody wants to be a permanent crutch or pillar to someone constantly seeking attention and relief.

In order to get through difficult times, it appears that our ability to separate the different areas of our lives is the best way to get a solid grip on reality, to avoid isolation, and to allow ourselves to heal.