The Self Destruction of Judgement

We tend to judge ourselves and judge ourselves badly. In our inner dialogue, this voice that speaks to us sometimes says: "I am worthless, I am incapable, I’m not as good as others, etc." More times than not, negative judgments are what occur. These dialogues with ourselves are very harmful, because if we have an inner voice, we also have an inner ear. We are both transmitters and receivers, which amplifies the influence of these thoughts. These judgments are therefore heard by ourselves, which helps to anchor these negative beliefs even more. And what is extremely toxic is self-judgment. When I say to myself "I'm worthless", I put myself in prison and am not coming out. This label I stick on myself is very difficult to get rid of.

How to judge oneself?

This does not mean, however, that we are forced to judge ourselves positively. Because self-judging in a positive way is equally as unproductive as its counterpart. If you think, "I am the best," you lock yourself in another, more sunny prison. To confine oneself to a judgment prevents change, and is therefore an obstacle to progress.

The ideal position is objectively examining oneself (or at least as objectively as possible). Acceptance is a solid basis from which it is possible to start. Judgment can have a purpose when acceptance is present. If I say to myself: "I have a hard time finishing what I start," then I can decide to put a strategy into place to change and motivate me to finish tasks. If I had thought, "I'm worthless, I can never finish what I start," it may seem like the same thought, but the result is very different. I consider myself incapable of being otherwise. My defects are part of my being and not my behavior. And being cannot change even if behavior can. This is why it is good to consider without judging oneself severely, always leaving room for our behaviors to evolve. Basically, it is important to train ourselves to accept ourselves for what we are: to modify and overcome our defects, and use and stimulate our qualities, further increasing their value.